"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways..."

So, I know it's been a while - apologies! This past week, our first 'official' week of classes, has been full of adjusting, bus-taking, and homework-doing. 

Lately, it seems like God has been thinking, "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways?" (a line from a Elizabeth Barrett Browning poem). In so many little ways, God has been restoring the fleeting bits of hope (that I tend to lose due to self-defeatism). 

My days, usually, are full of tiny victories - and that is how I get by without losing heart. Here, it is often difficult to feel adequate when you cannot fully articulate your opinions or knowledge about something when speaking in under -developed Spanish. I take pride in the smallest things. Last night, I spoke with my brother, Ryan, via Skype (praise the Lord for Skype!!) all in Spanish - well, mostly - some Spanglish did make its way into the conversation. 

In all honesty, I feel better speaking in Spanish (I wouldn't say more comfortable... because it is always easier to speak in one's primary language). What I mean is - I know that whenever I chose to speak Spanish over English, I am challenging myself and thus bettering my ability to speak, remember, and converse. 

This past weekend, I was able to bring Ashley to my host parents' son's house. Mauricio and his wife, Silvia, were out of town for the weekend and asked my parents to watch their 14-year-old girl, Raquel. What made it even more interesting was the fact that as we walked into the house, Raquel had 20 of her little 14-year-old friends over to celebrate her 14th birthday. Let's just say I think that these kids have known how to dance since they were in the womb. They were dancing to crazy Latin music like the crazy little Costa Ricans that they are. In essence, they shook what their momma's gave them. 

After the surreal experience of observing that festivity, Ash and I spent most of Saturday morning skyping with our roommates, Cassie and Kelsey. They are living in a big ol' townhouse all by themselves. That will change when we return next semester. They won't be so lonely any more - and Cassie won't have a shoe closet (ha, Cassie... but I believe in your ability to consolidate). 

It was a really nice house and we sort of interacted with Raquel (she knows English but didn't speak much of it). Also this weekend, we watched the defeat of the Costa Rican soccer team to Mexico. When there was 20 minutes left and it was 3-0, my mom and Raquel called it quits, too, and went to bed. Ash and I decided to watch '13 Going on 30'. And apparently, there was an earthquake at 11pm, but we didn't feel a thing. 

Lately, it's been a little tough connecting with others, but I had the opportunity to chat (via Skype) with 3 lovely ladies whom I love (and miss) a lot! It's only been 2-3 weeks and I must remember to have patience and grace with others... and myself. And I know that patience will pay off because I'll learn to appreciate the little victories, like constructing a grammatically correct sentence (especially in past tense) without much thought.. in Spanish - or understanding the sermon at church (which we also went to this weekend. It's similar - but not the same as - the Father's House in North Chili, for all you Roberts people who are stalking me). 

I have been re-learning and remembering God's love for me. It is something, I believe, you must work at, not to have or earn, but something that requires work to embrace and understand. We tend to examine things in full before we fully digest them, anyway. And even as paradoxical as God's love is (it's so simple, yet so complicated at the same time), I'm finding it easier to understand day by day. I think He has been teaching me the quintessential lessons of trust and love all over again - and I'm okay with that - because maybe I didn't get it quite right the first few times around. The great thing is there's always something new to learn day to day, hour by hour. 

In order for me to be full, I must first be emptied. God has been emptying me of my own desires - in order for me to receive His fullness. My ideas for my time here might be good and all, but they don't even come close to the greatness that He has stored up for me. I just have to trust - and I am learning to do that more and more each day.