it's all in the 'try'

'It's all in the 'try,'" my mom always tells me. It's not about if you actually finish something or do the best in it, but as long as you took that first step forward, and kept on walking - as long as you tried. 

another saying that has struck me as very fitting is a quote i stole from my good friend sarah: "if you're not falling, you're not trying." (Sonnie Trotter). yesterday, as AWESOME as it was, was extremely draining for me - emotionally, physically, and mentally. i was surrounded by hundreds - maybe even thousands - of people at the parade and with people all day - communicating completely in spanish... well, they were communicating, and I just listened. Esteban and his friend, Randall (who I thought was named "Brendan" based on the accent - figure that one out), let me tag along to the parade with them. After an hour or an hour and a half of that, we met up with Abby, a new friend from 'school' and her Tica (Costa Rican) sister, Andrea (I think that's her name). We drove around for some time looking for some lunch - and finally found a little Mexican place to eat at. 

Man, oh man. I just faded into the background even more when there was even more people and more Spanish-talking. Let's just say after a long day of that sort of thing, I felt extremely and immensely stupid and useless (especially after a game of Pictionary with my other brother, Edgar, and a few of his lady friends from church). Some times, I just feel so inadequate and I feel like a stupid 3-year-old that people have to baby-sit and accomodate. I guess sometimes I feel like a nuisance or an inconvenience to people, especially my family and their friends. I can't communicate - well, no, that's a lie - I can communicate, but not very quickly and not always correctly. I KNOW for a fact that I mess up my sentences. I've probably said things like, "I is fine!" or "How is you?" and "My day to be great!" (instead of the past form of "estar"). Last night I hit a wall (and I think I already wrote about this last night, or maybe that was just in my journal - no puedo recordar...)

Anyway, I thought about it this morning - if I am not falling - if I am not failing and having a difficult time - then I am not trying. Peter would not have known the power of Christ in the way that he did had he not stepped out of the boat and tried to walk on water. We are to step out, not concerned with what will happen to us, but knowing full well we aren't going through something that we can't handle. 

We have to fall. You can't just sit comfortably by the side enjoying your cup of tea. If you're not falling, you're not trying. And if you're not trying, what are you doing with your life?

Peace and love, amigos. Count your blessings. 

Mi hermano, Esteban, y su amigo, Randall. Despite all of the mental overload, I can look back at my day and know that my day was full of blessings.