38.

"Progress means not just changing, but changing for the better." - C.S.L.

In light of the short amount of time before I leave, I have been mentally preparing myself to be productive. Now, I know that sounds a bit ridiculous - mentally preparing for physical productivity. But given the lazy state of mind as of late (rather, the past 3 months), I think it's a good step towards change.

Since first reading Lewis' "Mere Christianity" my freshman year of college (thank you, Professor Stewart, for making it required reading in Principles of Speech), I have always liked this quote. It has always stuck in my mind as a very truthful statement. You can make as many changes as you want, but that doesn't mean that you are necessarily progressing in life. I suppose what I mean by "progressing" refers to "growing as a person" - or something to that end. I can change my daily eating habits - instead of cereal, I can have a hot fudge sundae. And for lunch, I think I'll have a cannoli, but does that change in diet help progress me towards a healthier lifestyle? I would have to answer that with a resounding no (but I am sure that was a pretty obvious answer).

It is so easy to make stupid choices, especially when you have nothing to strive towards. This past summer, I have had nothing to strive towards, really. I mean, I could be a good student and review my Spanish one hour a day and read three books about Costa Rica (actually, that would have been a fabulous idea...), but I can't go back and undue my decisions to be lazy and watch TV all day. Without school, I lost my routine. I had seven days a week and all the time in the world (no job, just a 10-hour-a-week internship... which has been awesome, by the way. Hello, photojournalism!)

I'm not usually one to put my life out there, but I figured I'd start a little blog about Costa Rica (and the days leading up to my departure). And with that, I figured it'd be inevitable that you hear some of my struggles. Some of you may know me very well, some of you not so much. If we are close, then you know that I am a devote introvert in the way that I internalize a lot of thoughts.. but there are many of them. I only reveal those deep thoughts to a select few. So, it is a bit strange writing all of this out, but if you were sitting across from me and we were out say, at Jitters, I wouldn't have a problem telling you all of this, whether we were close or not. If I feel like you could benefit from this, then I would whole-heartedly share my experience with you.

Again, it is so easy to make stupid choices. And you can continue to make the less-than-best choices for yourself, as I have done for the past few months... watching too much TV and not being as productive as I could have been, but there comes a point when you can change - and where true progress starts because of that change - for the better.

Make that change - for the better. Progress.

Be blessed, my friends.